This is the life!

I never feel comfortable to talk about my very private life actually. But oh well, i just want to express how i feel right now.

People might think i have Perfect Life. Yeah i admit,  it seem i always got everything i wanted.

Okay, this is what my life looks like… I study in one of the greatest university in my city, happy family, and very nice boyfriend. And i don’t really have problems with money. I am not rich but i almost could buy everything i want. I said almost okay.

I always looks happy or whatever they call it.

But deep deep down of my heart, i am so luckily unhappy. And why is that? Well i have some kind of trust issue. I can’t trust people easily. And of course i have some reasonable reasons for that. There’s too many and i dont wanna mention them all.

I was very depressed for the past 3 months i guess… It’s like i don’t have any passion in my life.

Well i do actually, i have passion on my dreams, in Fashion or photography. But still, i am a human. I need somebody to be on by my side. I don’t need money, i need some love and attention. I almost killed myself actually, but i realized that’s not a good thing to do.  I felt all alone in this world. Because i felt nobody even care about me. People that i love always leave me without even think  about how i feel. And i started to think to moving out. My uncle offered me to live with his family actually. And he live in the different country. So maybe its good if I’m moving out to somewhere really new and start my life all over again.

But i choose to stay here now and fix everything…

I have a strong reason why i wanna stay now. Because now i have someone that i really care about. He’s the reason why i am still standing now. And now i feel that he’s the only person that could understand me. He put smile again on my face and erase all the pains in me slowly. I am happy to be with him and i hope it will stay this way forever…

There’s too many pains and tears before, and i’ve had enough of them. I know there will be more but i am trying my best now to be a better person and be a positive person.