Well… i do have some birthday wishlist hehehe…
Just thought to put the wishlist here…
What i want for my birthday is:
- My boyfriend
- My family
- Closest friends
- Macbook Apple Air
- Lasagna ^^
- New Mobile [i hate my blackberry i gotta admit]
- A nice new sketch book
- Moneeeeeeey
- New Shoes!
- Pixie Lott, Taylor Swift, Muse, and Paramore new CD [seriously, i dont have time to buy their new album]
- One ticket to go to UK [i hate my parents for keep making me waiting]
- NEW CAMERA!
- A Kitten!
- I can finally have my own clothing line…

Somebody pleaseeeeeeeee? :p

Well… That’s all i can remember for now
Ohh, HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!
Goodbye 2009 and say hello to 2010

So i’m just gonna tell about…

I have an account on www.looklet.com

And it’s addictive, i could spend one whole day in this website if i’ve got nothing to do and dont have to go to school.

Holiday is already coming but i still got some homework to do, ahh what’s wrong with teachers these days? can’t they see their students happy even just for a while? LOL

Btw, i dont have any plan for this new year though. Booooooring!

I don’t really like party just to be honest. It’s fine if my closest friends invite me. But no if some kid at school that i dont really know invited me. It will be much strange, i guess…

Btw, i heard yesterday Brittany Murphy has passed away… God Blessed her. I heard the reason was heart attack but yeah that’s what i heard. I havent find out again though.

I just read some of my old posts here, and i think i put too much my personal problems. So, i’m just gonna control myself about how i feel… You know, sometimes i am thinking a little bit like ‘Emo kid’ lol. Like ‘ohh i am all alone, i think i wanna die’ blablablabla… But just Fyi, i am not emo! LOL

And i’m just looking around at my blog and don’t you think that patrick star picture is cuteeeee xD he’s my favorite! And i saw my social vibe, there’s actually some people that visited my page! yay!! Thank you thank you! haha i feel silly…

Some of my design in Looklet

I’m just a girl with one heart only.

I am in Love right now, but i gotta admit that i am scared to fall in love. I always failed on love. I’ve heard one of my guy friend said ‘Boys are stupid if they hurt me’ but they always do.

But that’s not the point…

I am scared now… Scared of everything.

I lost everything. My confidence, my power [not magic power lol], my mind, and my bestfriend The only thing that i think i still have is my bf.

I dont know what am i gonna be if i loose him as well.

I just can’t think of anything, i can’t decide anything, i can’t do anything. Too many bad moments happen at the same time. It’s all suddenly happening. It just like ‘BAM’! those bad moments come and hit me just like that!

If i can say, yeah it does hurt.

I love him even more now…

God, please don’t take him away from my life. I trust him 100%, but just because i love him too much, so all the feelings haunted me. Because honestly, i’ve never felt this way before.

He’s the part of me now. so i don’t know what to do without him.

I lost him once, and that’s killing me so much. I dont wanna feel that way again…

I never feel comfortable to talk about my very private life actually. But oh well, i just want to express how i feel right now.

People might think i have Perfect Life. Yeah i admit,  it seem i always got everything i wanted.

Okay, this is what my life looks like… I study in one of the greatest university in my city, happy family, and very nice boyfriend. And i don’t really have problems with money. I am not rich but i almost could buy everything i want. I said almost okay.

I always looks happy or whatever they call it.

But deep deep down of my heart, i am so luckily unhappy. And why is that? Well i have some kind of trust issue. I can’t trust people easily. And of course i have some reasonable reasons for that. There’s too many and i dont wanna mention them all.

I was very depressed for the past 3 months i guess… It’s like i don’t have any passion in my life.

Well i do actually, i have passion on my dreams, in Fashion or photography. But still, i am a human. I need somebody to be on by my side. I don’t need money, i need some love and attention. I almost killed myself actually, but i realized that’s not a good thing to do.  I felt all alone in this world. Because i felt nobody even care about me. People that i love always leave me without even think  about how i feel. And i started to think to moving out. My uncle offered me to live with his family actually. And he live in the different country. So maybe its good if I’m moving out to somewhere really new and start my life all over again.

But i choose to stay here now and fix everything…

I have a strong reason why i wanna stay now. Because now i have someone that i really care about. He’s the reason why i am still standing now. And now i feel that he’s the only person that could understand me. He put smile again on my face and erase all the pains in me slowly. I am happy to be with him and i hope it will stay this way forever…

There’s too many pains and tears before, and i’ve had enough of them. I know there will be more but i am trying my best now to be a better person and be a positive person.

Well, my photography teacher gave me project to take pictures about Democratic Press. And now i really have no idea what should i do

I am now trying to find something on google Just at least i know what should i do on this project

So here’s what i found… I hope all these pictures i found are right…

Are those pictures are right?

Hmmmmmh… have an idea?

I am still confused just to be honest… Oh well, let see what im gonna do for this project Start doing it next saturday maybe, i am too tired now. Plus i still have exams for the next few days. so yaah….

I’ve always be a fan of London or Paris street style. It’s the best. I prefer to wear something in black, just like in the pictures. It just elegant but not scary. And just to be honest, i dont really like to wear something with a lot of color, BUT i didn’t say i dont want to wear something with a lot of color. I will everything as long as i love it. I only wear something that i feel confident with it. But i am not afraid to wear something new, something that i never wear before. I love to try something new.

Some of street style pictures that i love… I just think i should share this.

Ha ha ha… I am just boreeed :p

You get a text at 4AM saying “come outside.” What do you do?
go outside.

Do you get overly emotional about small things?
sometimes.

When was the last time you were scared?
Right Now

Have you changed at all in the past three months?
I guess so

Is anyone mad at you right now?
I dunno

Is life getting better or worse?
Mehh i dont know

Plans for tomorrow?
Yeaah, gonna meet my love

Does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed?
yeah

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Sometimes

Do you like the town you are living in?
Its okay

If a bear attacked you would you know how to protect yourself?
I have no idea, i’d freak out

Do you remember the person you first kissed?
hahahha please dont remind me. Oh noo, i remember :p ew :p

Look at your nails, do they need to be cut?
naaw

When was the last time you saw your father?
last nighht.

What is something you disliked about your day?
Exams today pssh

Ever really cried your heart out?
Yeah

Have you smoked a cigarette today?
I dont smoke, sweetie pie

So what do you want for your birthday?
A lot of stuff. im greedy lol

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
hm five

Have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue ring?
No

Did you go to sleep smiling last night?
No

When your being kissed do you like it when they hold your face?
mhhhm.

Can you cross your eyes?
mhhm.

What time in your life would you like to put on repeat forever?
None

Would you rather be able to jump into love, or out of love?
Thats one hard question

Were your last three kisses from the same person?
Yeah

Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person?
Often haha

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today?
Talked to my baby

What do you wear to bed?
Clothes

When will your next kiss be?
Tomorrow maayyybbeee xD

What did you do last night?
Nothing eh

Ever thought someone was breaking into your house?
ehhh.

Are you scared of raccoons, fox, bears, ?
Yeah

Ever ding dong ditched an old persons house?
Naww im a sweet girl lol

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose to get out of something?
yeaaah.

When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, what’s the first thing you say?
ugh.

What is your main ring tone on your phone?
Its a tone from the mobile company or whatever they call it

Last furry thing you touched?
idunnno.

How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?
None, im cleeeann xD

The last person you kissed says they want you to be theirs. You say?
Aww

Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?
yeah.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night

Is it bad to be a forgiving person?
No

Do you listen to songs about drugs?
suuure.

For people that don’t know you what do they think your age usually is?
15-16-17 [im oldeeer lol]

How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
what am i drinking.?

Are you one of those people who never drink soda?
ew. but no. hahaha.

Do you remember what the last picture you took was of?
Myself in my room, randooooooom

Last song you listened to?
i forgot

Do you swallow gum when you’re done with it?
Rarely

Who has your heart at the moment?
Him <3

What color was the last pill you took?
Eh

Is it hard to tell someone you like them?
Depends

Favorite day of the week?
Friddaaay

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Never

Do you like waking up to new texts in the morning?
yeaaah.

How do you feel when someone kisses you on your forehead?
ittts cute.

What are your plans for your next birthday?
who knoows.

What was your last dream about?
I remember, i was just sitting on my bed and smoking… boring ey?

Who is the last person to get in your pants?
Hahahha OMG

What’s the reason behind your myspace song?
Ergh? i dont have myspace

Have you ever been lead on?
mhhm.

Who was the last person to send you a text message?
My girl xD

Do you know a secret about your ex and if he/she pisses you off will you tell?
naaw.

Is love really a beautiful thing?
Sometimes

Are you cheating on anyone?
Never

Is anyone protective over you?
yeaaaaaaaaah.

Would you rather get high or have sex?
Have sex whoop!

What do you think about Lil Wayne expecting 2 kids from 2 different women this year?
that’s greaat.

Do you think Beyonce handled things well at the VMAs?
Yeaaah, she’s kind

If you had a boyfriend and he went to some girl’s house to smoke pot, how would you feel?
Wtf?

Would you feel weird dating a guy with an ugly name like Eugene or Dragor?
hahhhaha as long their face is not as ugly as their name then its okay :p

Would it weird you out if you were having sex and the guy started loudly moaning and screaming with pleasure?
hahahhaha i dont mind :p

Have you ever feel like life is getting harder and you feel like you cant take all the things anymore?

Well thats how i feel right now.

Loosing someone that i trust is my biggest fear now. I feel like all the people i trusted is gone. Not physically gone, but i feel they have had enough of me.  I was raised as a very not open-minded girl. I never feel comfortable to talk about how i feel or my problems. I just don’t feel they could understand me. Well yeah i’ve tried since long time ago to share about how i feel, because i know i cant keep all my thoughts in me by myself. I’d go crazy. But i was right, they couldn’t understand me…

I dont even feel right to talk about my problems to my parents. My siblings even worst. They dont know anything about me.

Lucky i have boyfriend now… He forced me to tell him about how i feel or my problems everyday. He’s a good listener and he knows how to make me calm. He made a big mistake in my past, but he promised he will change and i believe in him.

Now loosing him is my biggest fear. I really don’t want to loose him. He’s the only person that knows me really well.

I dont own the pic, just found randomly in Google

And i totally love the pic, it just so cute and the cat too… awww xD hehe

I can say that i had a great time today. I was attend some photography class today which is very fun. But i still learn the theory, start to practice next week And yeah just chiling with my classmates, i’m pretty enjoyed it…

I have buy some new camera for my photography lesson next week, yeah i broke my old camera…

I tried to not think about the bad things that happen to me lately… I learned to always be positive… If i keep thinking about the bad things, then when i will be happy? BE POSITIVE is good.

I love reading quotes about anything…

But i have some favorite and it’s about Love. Yeah i am gonna share some of my favorite here. And i am sorry, because i totally forgot who actually make this quotes, so whatever…

- A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

- I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn’t brighten her own.

- Girls are like apples.the best ones are at the top of the trees.The boys dont wanna reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling & getting hurt.they just get the rotten apples that r on the ground that aren’t as good,but easy.So the apples at the top think theres something wrong with them,when,in reality,theyre amazing.They just hve to wait for the right boy to come along,the one whos brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree

- You do your thing and i’ll do mine. You are you and i am i. and if in the end we end up together. it’s beautiful

That’s just some of my favorite… sometimes, some random quotes that i found on internet is inspired me what i have to do in my life. So those quotes is useful for me hehe…

Other than reading quotes.

I LOVE watching videos on youtube. Some music videos, or just random videos from random people.

Some of the videos are so funny and awesome…

These 2 videos that i put in here are my favorite at the moment…

It’s from one of my favorite musician, JAMIE SCOTT AND THE TOWN… They covered Leona Lewis song, BLEEDING LOVE. I love to hear Jamie Scott voice, it just sexy hehe… Plus he’s gorgeous

And this awesome video…

I don’t know exactly, because the description written in french, and i do not understand french. As i can see, this video was made by some student in one university in Canada ^^ i was thinking it’ll be so cool if me and some people in my university will do the same thing haha…

i’m enjoying this video so much, oh noo… i’m addicted to this video :p

Tomorrow is friday…

I am so lazy to go to university in friday, all i think is about weekend only hehe…